Im going to start off by saying please forgive me for my long absence on this here blog. I have been going through a major life change and needed to focus on one thing at a time. What I REALLY mean by that is learning how to handle one emotion at a time.
These past few months I have learned two very important things.
1. I am made up of two VERY different women. --
One girl is drinking Pinot Grigio complimenting her Carpaccio salad. This girl likes to indulge in the finer things life has to offer. This girl has expensive taste and wants to travel the globe. The Greek Islands, Bali, Thailand, Ireland, Tuscany... She longs to be worldly, cultured and colorful. This girl wants to be a baker, a cook, a fitness freak. An outstanding mother is something she prays to be every night above her pillow. This girl wants to have her health in order and a godly glow in her cheeks where ever she wanders.
She is a dreamer, She is a doer.
The other side is a girl with messy hair ALWAYS in a ponytail. She squats with her spurs on and has a permanent dirt mustache that compliments her aching feet that long for a cozy blanket after a hard day's work. She smells like an army of horses and almost never has a drop of makeup on. With a dark band of sweat around her ball cap, this girl loves a cheeseburger at any joint and a good pitcher of ice cold craft beer.. Well, any beer if we're being honest.
She is raw, She is real.
AGAIN; I am made up of two completely different girls which make me EXACTLY who I am;
L A C Y
and I LOVE that.
2. My life is about to change drastically. Every single part of my day will be different. I am overwhelmed with a rainbow of emotions. I am incredibly excited but sometimes I become uncomfortably nervous.
Horse sweat and 10-16 hour days with calloused hands and a blistered bum is about all I know anymore. Its almost become as easy as tying my shoes.
The muscle memory of my everyday life is going to be flipped completely upside down and the idea of jumping head first into the unfamiliar frightens me at a level I've yet to explore.. And as much as I might hate to admit it, More than anything; I am scared I will fail.
Today I get to call myself a Free-lance writer for Cutting Horse Central. Today I get to tell you I have published work out in this world and in the most humblest of ways, I am so proud of that! I can't wait to start my career as a writer with this momentum.
Taking the steps to get here was weird. I didn't really know what I was doing, but there was an indescribable pull to quit cowgirlin' and follow my recent dreams of becoming a writer.
After I nailed down my opportunity with Cutting Horse Central, I decided to reach out to the owner of Lady Bug Boutique in down town Santa Ynez, which is a beautiful shop I've dreamt of working at for over a year now. I landed the job the day of my Interview.
You can't imagine the feelings I have knowing I come from a background of strenuous all day physical labor with horses (which I LOVED) to folding five hundred dollar sweaters and steaming t-shirts. From averaging 12 hour days to easy 7 hour days. It's weird. It's REALLY weird. I'm currently trying to find balance in what I KNOW and what I WANT. It is overwhelming to say the least. I loved my job as a loper and I love my Job now as a sales associate and free-lance writer.
Living in this town and working for this local business that I admire so much is a real dream come true. I am blessed beyond comprehension at the moment and constantly feel like I need to pinch myself just to make sure this is real life... this is MY life.
I made a list of goals in 2016 that I had hoped to accomplish by 2017 and I completely SMASHED them. There is no way to describe how that feels. Every piece of the puzzle has fallen into place and God has given me every tool and opportunity to create the life I've always wanted for myself. I most definately don't want to take any of it for granted.
This life is all about diving head first into the unknown. Putting your hands into this earth and grabbing what is MEANT for you. If it doesn't undeniably scare you to death, it is not worth an ounce of your time.
We grow from our roots, and I think sometimes it takes time to figure out where those roots are, and how to find them and so, naturally we dig and dig until our shovel meets the hardest part of our ground, under our tree. THAT is when we find our purpose and meet our potential. An epiphany happens and all of the sudden this world makes more sense than it ever has before. Allowing us to eventually plant roots of our own and flourish in a way we have always dreamt of.
I can't wait for this New Year ahead of me.
I hope you all found a positive way to relate to this post. I want to encourage people to push for the places and opportunities they can't quit dreaming of, the passions they can't shake.
Life is short, but I'm SOOO sick of always saying that..
LIFE IS SWEET, SAVOR IT!